Holiday Gift Shopping Syndrome -- How to avoid the crappy presents

Every year, Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa show up at roughly the same time and every year I'm oddly surprised with how quickly they arrive. I get how guys are so flummoxed by the whole Holiday thing. One day, it's Halloween and you're drinking apple cider and handing out candies. The next thing you know, Grandpa's carving the turkey in between the games on Turkey Thursday. How does this happen? Any ideas you had about getting ahead of the curve just went out of the window. You and 100 million others are heading into the shopping fray, expect many of them have a plan of whom and what they're buying.

Many guys don't even know where to start in the gift-buying arena. What's appropriate, how much, what will people like are all questions that hit you as you walk into the Mall of Sensory Overload. This is how grown-assed men wind up with Snugglies, talking Bass trophies, and the like. More bad lingerie gets bought (right up there with Valentine's Day) and useless gift sets from Bed, Bath, and Beyond wind up in under women's trees. Fortunately, I'm better prepared than in years past since I have to get out at least two Holiday gift articles for Be Better Guys in advance of them. BBG has a few gift suggestions for your girlfriend/wife are available, with more to follow. Also, Kim Turner of FashionCents.tv has some useful advice I thought I'd share, too. So breathe and stop and read before you buy. No one needs another Snugglie.

A Great Thanksgiving Needs Stuffing!

Like so many, I'm spending Thanksgiving with family, specifically my in-laws. There is a day of eating and talking and trying to watch football while eating and talking in store for me. Here's hoping that you have a great day visiting with friends and/or family, and that they don't drive you insane. Grab a drink and enjoy your folks and the day.

As a better guy (and a good son-in-law) I'm serving as prep cook for my mother-in-law and preparing a dish for Turkey Day -- cornbread stuffing. Apparently, the Connors of greater New England never did stuffing for Thanksgiving while Jill was growing up. (I'll give you a minute to pick your jaw off of the ground. I was stunned, too) I couldn't even wrap my mind around it initially, until I attended a spread with the family a few years back. There was kugel, cabbage, but no stuffing. I know not everyone does the full spread my family does and that the spread varies from region to region (do you serve ham and collards, is there pork product in your green beans, pumpkin pie versus sweet potato pie?), but no stuffing? It's like peanut butter and no grape jelly.

I couldn't let this travesty stand. So, here the quick and easy stuffing recipe I'm doing for those wanting some good stuffing, or dressing depending on where you're from, or who just want to score points with the in-laws. Embellish how you like (sub sausage or bacon for the mushrooms, add rosemary, whatever) and I would recommend adding a few pieces of french bread or some crusty bread to keep the stuffing from being too mushy. Happy Turkey Day!

Cornbread Stuffing

• 2 9x12 pans of cornbread, cubed
• 2 cups chicken stock
• 3 cups chopped onions
• 2 cups chopped celery
• 1 cup shallots
• 2 cups chopped mushrooms (you can substitute bacon)
• 4 tbsp dried sage
• 1 tbsp thyme
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 stick of butter (1/4 lb.)

Saute mushrooms in large skillet with 2 tbsp olive oil until soft (@ 10 mins.) over medium-high heat. Pull aside, but keep @ 1/4 cup of liquid. Add butter to pan over medium heat, then once the butter is melted, add bay leaf, onions, celery, and shallots. Cook until translucent and soft, then remove from heat.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cut the corn bread into 1" cubes. In a large bowl, mix corn bread, onions, etc, with thyme and sage. Add 1 cup of chicken stock, and salt and pepper to taste. Add mushrooms and stir. If you want to put stuffing into the turkey, allow at least another 30-45 mins for the bird to be done.

Put the remaining stuffing mixture in baking dish and place dish into oven for 1 hr. Add the rest of stock as needed to keep it somewhat moist. Serve with the meal, ideally with gravy. What, you people don't do gravy, either? WTF?

Guilty Pleasures: Padron 2000 Robustos

As the temperature drops, I tend to smoke fewer cigars. This is mainly because I don't smoke in the house, but either on my porch or on a walk or at the cigar lounge I frequent. Also as a husband and father, my opportunities to go out are limited and I don't always want to spend it in a smoke-filled room, no matter how many TVs are showing games with access to cocktails. Because of that, I get a bit more particular about what I smoke and winter becomes the time to narrow down the range of new stuff I tried in the spring and summer.

With all the new brands and top-25 lists rolling out this time of the year, I'd not had a Padron cigar in quite some time. I've had a few of the different labels (1926 series, 1964 Anniversary, 2000) and simply put, it's a very good brand from top to bottom. But like I said, I wanted to narrow it down to a go-to cigar for this time of the year and decided on the 2000 Robusto Maduro for a few reasons.

The first reason is the size appeals to me as being ideal (50 ring gauge by 5 in.) for a pleasant smoke without a huge commitment -- 30 to 40 mins. Second, the taste is full-bodied, with a roasted coffee taste to start that mellows into bittersweet chocolate. And third, it's a price performer at $4-5 a stick and you can get a box for $80 online. Not a bad gift for the cigar smoker in your life.

The 2000 burns a bit hot, in my opinion, but that didn't detract from the overall experience. It strikes me as a cigar that you can age some and enjoy a year or two down the line even more. But the construction is solid (no veins or peeling on the wrapper) and the appearance is nice. A consistent smoke, you can enjoy with a drink or on a stroll. Since I try to keep my cigar smoking to one a week, I'm partial to a good one when I have it. This qualifies, in spades.

PS--BBG can help you with other gifts, too.

Double Trouble: Do You Need a DoubleBreasted Suit?

I've always loved the look of double-breasted suits. My first adult suit was a gray flannel double-breasted (can't find the picture, but I'll get it up soon). The structure, the formality, the military bearing of the suit has always been attractive to me (think "The Thomas Crown Affair"). The overlapping material provide additional bulk and warmth (ideal for men on horseback). The cut gives the average Joe that manly "V" shape. This should be a staple for any guy who owns more than three suits--not that a lot of designers make them. There are a few caveats: if you're "husky," this will make you look bigger in all the wrong places; if you're too short, it will overwhelm you; and patterns should error toward the subtle, unless you like being mistaken for a person going to a costume party.

Done well, it's an almost bullet-proof look, perfect for any dressy occasion up to (and sometimes including) semi-formal. And then there's the alternative, which makes you look either like a gangster or dumpy, old, and out of touch with contemporary fashion. I own one, but it's an older model -- a 4-and-1 (four buttons, one functional), glen plaid number that is fine--which I mean in every sense of the word--but doesn't have the high armholes and nipped waist that make the suit look so incredible. It's hard to mess with a well-cut suit and a well-cut double-breasted one makes such a strong statement, I'm not surprised men tend to shy away from it. There's no being beige or vanilla in it. It's not a casual choice, yet Usher manages to make it work (above left, black shirt aside) without a tie, a tough trick.

Is it a bit dandified? Probably, but I bashed khakis and flip-flops in this space a while ago, so I'm obviously not looking for the middle of the road. But when I saw this suit from Banana Republic (left, and spare me the acrimony about Banana and suits, fashionistas), I had to pause and consider if I "needed" this. Loved the detailing such as the double vents, reminiscent of the cavalry coat it derived from; the ticket pocket; slim silhouette (which could be a problem for me being a larger guy); 6-and-2 button configuration (for a more pronounced and higher stance); nipped waist; and the choice of pattern (nail head instead of a plaid or pinstripe). It's this sort of detailing we speak about on Be Better Guys to really up the ante. However, my day job alter-ego is already overdressed, so I held back initially. Again, the style is too formal for most days at the cubicle farm. But, there are the holiday parties coming up, Thanksgiving with the in-laws, New Year's Eve, so I'm on the fence. What do you think?

Reflected Glory: Watching Football Docs

In this lost season, with the Skins as putrid as I've ever seen them (Denver game aside), I've been a bit nostalgic for the great teams of my teen years. I've seen more than my share of NFL Films over the years, but watching the Fun Bunch, the Posse, the Hogs, and Mark Rypien (?) in their late-80s early-90s glory seemed a bit masochistic. Yet I wanted the nostalgia of football past, which has been met with two great documentaries: Full Color Football: The History of the American Football League and Small Potatoes: Who Killed the USFL? Both offered great clips of two of the football leagues competing against the NFL juggernaut and intriguing back stories about the negotiations and machinations taking place behind the scenes.

Both documentaries dealt with the birth, life, and (arguably) untimely death of both leagues. They focused on the colorful characters (the AFL's Joe Namath, Cookie Gilchrist, and the whole Radiers team; USFL's Chuck Pitcock and the Tampa Bay Bandits with a young Steve Spurrier at the helm), the innovative styles of play and the wacky fans who rooted for them.

Full Color is a 5-part series with all the footage and interviews with many of the league's stars -- Lance Alworth, Namath, John Madden, Len Dawson. Interestingly, O.J. Simpson wasn't interviewed, even though his signing with Buffalo was one of the dominoes that spurred the merger along. With the AFL, the league's demise came with the 1970 merger with the NFL--which still galls Al Davis to this day, feeling the AFL could compete, but was outflanked by a deal made without his knowledge. This year, the NFL is honoring the AFL's 50th anniversary, with the original 8 AFL teams wearing patches and playing against other former AFL clubs in their orginal uniforms. That's why Denver's wearing those horrible yellow and brown unis. (right, courtesy of BroncoBanter.com) This is a great series for sports and social history buffs alike, since it addresses issues of race, the social revolution, and the emergence of television as the all-powerful medium.

The USFL didn't fare quite as well, with the league folding after 3 seasons, with no merger and nothing more than a $3.86 settlement check as a reward for the now-famous monopoly law suit against the NFL (Ouch!). this was despite the fact it had three Heisman Trophy winners (most notably Hershel Walker and Doug Flutie on the same team) and several future Hall of Famers, like Jim Kelly, Steve Young, and Reggie White. Small Potatoes infers an individual or individuals are responsible for the USFL's demise, and most of those interviewed are pretty clear who that person was. "The Donald" Donald Trump took over the NY/NJ Generals, started poaching Heisman Trophy winners and players from the NFL, forced rapid expansion in season three, and pushed through the change in schedule from Spring to Fall, which led to the league's closing down. He called the league "small potatoes" to the NFL, which wouldn't give him a franchise. Yet, the small potatoes league put 17 All-Pros in the NFL the next season. None of them played for the Washington Federals, DC's team, but we did have Craig James briefly, but the teams stunk and the Skins were the only real game in town. They didn't have a chance.

I wish there was more time given to Small Potatoes, though. It was fun to watch, more fun than I've had the past month of watching football, that's for sure. Watch them both.

Augmented Reality Bites

Help me out here, because I'm feeling rather dense. Esquire's December issue has "augumented reality" features that require you to interact your magazine with your computer via digital camera. Hold the magazine up to the web camera and you get specialized content features on your desktop, featuring Robert Downey, Jr. and others in this month's issue. So what?

As I watched the video demonstration (see below), I felt like I was watching "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" with the same cartoon/human interactives. Yes, I recognize the significance of being able to prompt this with a scan of the bar code-like square on the specific pages, but I'm not sure how this enhances either the magazine or the online content. Again, maybe I'm dense, but it seems a costly bit of technology with no clear upside to getting readers to buy more magazines. Esquire is already better than most of its competitors at providing entertaining and pithy content and I don't get how this benefits them. Then again, I didn't get the digital ink thing, either.

Fantasy Football Update (Like You Care)!

On Twitter earlier, I saw a tweet that asked if fantasy football is like Dungeon and Dragons for jocks. To the astute observer, the answer is yes, and equally as geeky. Since I made mention of my fantasy football habit back in September, I thought I'd update y'all on how Teams Joyner are doing. Remember, Daddy has money riding on several of these so I'm as serious as a heart attack about it turns out, as geeky as that may be.

For those who care:

Red = losing record

Blue = winning record

$ = money league

Murder, Inc (CBS Sportsline, 12-team 14-game season, $): 3-5, last in division, 2 games out of playoff contention. The skinny: my WRs suck (not really, but there's no true #1 guy and they all take weeks off) and the guy deciding who plays each week (me) needs to have his head examined (benched two players that scored 70 pts for two players that scored 17 pts). I'll have to run the table to even think about making the playoffs and recouping my investment. And in this league I have Adrian Peterson (the good one, right courtesy of EveryJoe.com)!

Jose Canseco's Pool Party (ESPN, 12-team keeper league, 13-game season, $): 5-3, tied for first in division. The skinny: WRs have done their part, but I had to trade Roddy White for Brandon Jacobs and Michael Crabtree to get more production at RB (Darren McFadden and Leon Washington on the IR; Matt Forte in a coma, apparently). He was the most consistent guy, but I wouldn't be able to hold onto him after this season (3-year ownership rule), so trading him made sense to get a quality back. QB might become an issue, though. Why do I get sucked in by Phillip Rivers (and Norv Turner's Chargers)? He does this to me every time I draft him. I'm like Rhianna right now, wondering why I keep going back. Somebody hug me.

Jose Canseco's Pool Party (Yahoo Sports, 14-team, 14-game season): 6-2, tied for second overall. The skinny: even thought there's no money in this league, because of the additional teams, it's tougher to draft and tougher to pick up flyers. This team was my test draft for the money leagues. Fortunately, I drafted well, with strong WRs (Reggie Wayne, DeSean Jackson) solid RBs,(Steven Jackson and Ryan Grant), with a sprinkle of luck (Cadillac Williams, Johnny Knox). This despite Jay Cutler's and Eli Manning's attempts to undermine me. Punks.

Jose Canseco's Pool Party (Yahoo Sports NFL Pick 'em Pool, 24 people, full NFL regular season, $): 61-41 (drop the lowest week's total), third place. This pick 'em format tends to be dumb luck. Unless you "know someone" in a Tony Soprano sort of way, you're betting the favorites each week and hoping they cover. The favorites are covering the point spread with more regularity now than earlier in the season, when teams are still developing their personalities. I won this one last year with a few choice fliers late in the season. Let's see how it works our this year.

So, I'm in contention, but it's a long season and if I lose another guy to season-ending surgery, I might cry. Daddy needs daycare money, come on!